A Biblical Nod
To something besides God;
how lovely, how beautiful.
The writer admires women
as more than just a muse.
The writer writes poetry
just as much as prose.
A work of fiction requires
faith as much as magic.
A Forgotten Hawk
“Head in the clouds,
feet on the ground.”
Isn’t that the sort of shit
people who want to be
motivational speakers
say to themselves while
staring closely, intently
into bathroom mirrors?
I was staring at screens
all day today — my phone,
my laptop, my television,
a cinema screen; I saw
myriad opinions, foreign
comedies, basketball, and
women committing murder
in the great state of Texas.
Upon returning home from
eating herbs and drinking
tea with a beautiful lady who
closely resembles the iconic
Chloë Sevigny, I walked my
dog for about a mile or two
and thought I heard some
crows on the cable wires;
my son calls crows hawks,
but this time it was a hawk,
stealing the perch typically
occupied by the tarry creeps.
My head’s stayed craned, just
like so — wait, you can’t see
what I’m doing right now; but
even though I feel a bit like
I’m levitating or something
sort of approximating floating,
I know that I’m just meditating.
“If you breathe right, you’ll be
alright,” I say to myself now,
while I stare closely, intently
into my bathroom mirror.
Abstract Expungement
Think about all the bad things
you've said and/or done in your
most actionable moments then
think about the full potential of
having a more monochrome life.
Ana & Anna
I miss you both
but I don’t know
how to broach
things with either
of you with each
day that passes.
Analytic Converter
I’ve had my brain
stolen so often
my deductible
is never not met.
Angels Gate
Stolen land
Blocked about
Boarded buildings
Assisted by commerce
What’s the point you say
Antiquity & Ubiquity
All ages are fun ages
except for when details
are transposed beyond.
Everything is superb
except for what's seen
to be superfluous, etc.
Arduous Ardor
Love is real
Hate is fake
Work is hard
Play just ain’t
If you want love
You need to work
If you want to hate
You can play games
Avoid Non-Stick Pans At All Costs
maybe on a random Wednesday
I could take a Greyhound bus
out to Minneapolis/St. Paul
and attempt to find the piece
of myself that could bring peace
to myself not just now but forever?
maybe I could become the Jewish
Buddhist I was always meant
to be if that was possible
and on the following Wednesday
I could return to Los Angeles
only to watch reality TV
Babble with Brook
pen pals are a lost art
but we can bring it back
and eventually meet and
greet each other with hugs
and tug at the other’s mug
to see if we’re actually real
Baby Quake
In between the rice
and the rice cakes
there was a package
of Pocky and when
the refrigerator door
struck me like a boar
in a Southern jungle
my hands shook with
the rest of my body
and the wooden floor
was suddenly covered
with cocoa and cookie.
Back in Business
No mission statements.
I don’t ever expect
sales or success.
But I am happy
to make my life
my office again.
I will write what
I know and I know
that what I write
will be of me.
Bannock
easy life
in kitchen
baked with
love by one
for another
together
forever
Beautiful Poem
Glad to hear
you made it.
Who’s this?
Bloated Tofu
I saw the state of myself
in the bottom right drawer
of my frigid refrigerator.
No more booze; no more
drugs, unless prescribed;
no more inflammation.
I want to be as pure and
clean as fresh bean curd
at a hidden monastery.
Brain Violence
What happens when you stop
seeing pain for what you believe
it to be and decide you might
start feeling instead of thinking?
Brainwashed
A kid twice my son’s age
told him that cops will kill
him, and I bent down and
said, “While this is true, my
boy is only four years old.”
Breakfast Time
You tell me when
You tell me where
But I don't want what
You want me to want
I don't eat eggs
I can't feel my legs
I don't do donuts
Ain't greed nuts
I'll just take a latte to go
Give me almond or oat
Breakthrough
After the most recent time I scraped my superficial skin, I really started to be able to see within. And it was only then that I truly realized that every single thing I say or do has a profound impact on my kin. Moving forward, I only want to look backward in order to move forward. Starting today, yesterday is only yesterday and tomorrow is only tomorrow. I didn’t choose this life, but I choose to keep it for now.
Bueno Mojo Doja Cat Complex
This was where I ended up after I last heard the song “Get the Party Started” by Pink, who I once saw buying fish from the Whole Foods in Venice with her husband and child. That night, I sipped tea with a three-rivered minnow of sitcom royalty.
I’m so glad I’m a Keith and not a Ken, which reminds me, I once saw Ryan Gosling feeling overwhelmed by his children at one of my favorite pizza places. That night, I felt less anxious about my own anxieties.
We all have our own complex complexes. Whether in valleys or by seas, we’re just seeking sunlight, you and me.
Bum Bum Toot Toot
This is the working title
of my son’s first single;
he needs to work on
the lyrics, but I think
he’s off to a good start
as a performance artist.
Buoyant Clairvoyant
Swim, don’t sink;
just be, don’t think.
That’s my synopsis
of my date with the
Gen Z astrologer
I had a few years ago,
a few miles away from
my Westside office.
I’ll never forget the way
her living room smelled.
Case Poem: Shack by Lake
I went to one of the places
with an unspeakable name
where they serve Cali-Mex
dishes all day long and saw
a couple in puppy love, and
I wanted to puke up my
Coca-Cola-soaked fries
and close my piss-soaked
eyes, but what would be the
point in doing that so early?
It was still just before midnight,
so I headed back home toward
mountains people ignore and
cracked open my last Corona
and thought about seppuku.
Every single day is just a day,
a new day, to say, “Good day,”
regardless of the swirling guts
inside you and the chutzpah
you wish you could offer up.
At best, I’m a name on a grave
worth visiting; at worst, I’m just
a guy who died too young, with
a son who never got to know
who his father was, completely.
Ceviche Too Much Ceviche
When you’re feeling stressed
and up against it don’t rely on
cliches and coddling to comfort.
It might even be better to make
yourself feel a little uncomfortable
in order to not feel stale or worse.
Challenger
she said one day only
no budge no rush sorry
he stuck me with a bad sport
for more than three weeks
they look at me like I’m dying
because maybe I am after all
Chemicals
I hate the smell
of cheap shampoo
and electronic cigs
and that’s why I can’t
date most women
in this year or last
and I might just die
so why bother, right?
Chisme Corral
Flies circle shit
just like humans
attach to lips.
Cocoa Loco
bitch please
said the girl
to her friend
at Starbucks
you know the
one just across
the street from
the other one
oh yeah that’s
like every one
isn’t it I guess
and I guess it’s
time to give in
to capitalism
I’m not crazy
about this life
I’m not crazy
I’m just right
I’m just too
tired to fight
I’m just too
much to die
Complete Effete
Maybe someday I will play dress up
for an appearance on Late Night
to talk about my new movie based
on my last book and Seth Meyers
will ask me to share the story about
that one time in college when I kissed
Larisa Oleynik and melted just like
Alex Mack and moved back home
to Pittsburgh only a few months later.
Confirm Humanity
Check all boxes
that lead you to
a new idea of
a new reality
television isn't
worth anything
if it's not making
you laugh or think.
Convalescent Vibes
this is me
until
it is not me
I am this
until
I am that
I was born
just so
but I’ll
die before
long before
you will
feel much
of anything
Corduroy the Third
First you’ve got a bear
then you’ve got a bone
next you’ve got a brain.
Whatcha think you’re doing
when you’ve got it going
like you’re done growing?
I don’t know why you spy
like a toddler in a car seat
trying not to ride till you die.
I guess I wonder if you’ve ever
wondered why some pants
have piping and others pop.
Does wondering constitute
a question, or is curiosity
simply a condition of now?
Last thing on your priority list
should always be whatever
you don’t want to confront.
Courtesy Call
"Call you back in five"
always turns into ten,
or even never again.
Craft Service
My insides can no longer store
the marketed materials within
plastic wrappers and inside
aluminum cans so I say so long
to intestinal fortitude and hello
to withering away like an artis
tof yore like the kind I was told
I would be and the one I might
actually become after all I guess.
Crossed Product
I heard a blue jay chirping
“A Bay Bay” while I was
in deep sleep, after taking
my second Xanax of the day.
I woke up to trays stacked
and websites blocked,
but I still live in America,
and my passive ideations
are still stuck in neutral
and my nervous system
is doing damage control.
Why, oh, wine; me, oh, my;
I wonder how I will ultimately
meet my permanent demise.
Crutches
we all have them
all of the time
from the time
we are born
until when we die
clean bill of health
injured or tired
we need things
to support us when
we don't have people
Cuckoo Latte (Light Foam)
Having yuks and fucks
with kooks and loons
in cafe bathrooms and
motel bedrooms is sure
to make one see purely
after a handful of years.
Cudgel Me, Baby
But with tenderness
Of course
I’ll speak
In metaphors mostly
You’ll learn
The rhythm soon enough
It’s mostly about fluidity
I mean love
Dial Tone b/w Modem Zone
Once upon a time people
could be nickel-and-dimed
by germy devices but now
folks seek to go viral for
quarter hours on the bottom
dollar till they bury themselves.
It wasn't so long ago that
most information could
be found but you had to
work harder to get it and
you had to work harder
to give it in the first place.
Dietetics & Diuretics
My life is a lot of thinking about
what goes in and what goes out.
Dignified Mind
What you call being stubborn,
at least in this specific instance,
I call refusing to kowtow to what
you know to be beneath decency.
Eat Shit (Your Loss)
People tell people
to eat shit
but when their pets
do it they
totally lose their shit.
Eschatology
My baby boy talks about
his baby toys and I think
I'll have a walkabout just
to think about how he
places them on his plastic
boat in the bathtub, like
Noah, after a big-ass meal.
There's no need to dwell
on the ways in which
my heart tends to swell;
it's only a matter of time
before I say goodbye,
and when I do, that'll be
the last poem I write.
The thing about our lives
is that they are so narrow
when we step back from
ourselves — some of us
try to be more aware than
others, but in the end, we
all stay stuck in our heads.
Exercise, Exorcise, Excise
Get buckets
Give toxins
Get progress
Give hundreds
Fetal Matter
I spend more time
reading articles
curled over in pain
in one single day
than most people
spend reading
a book throughout
an entire summer.
Fibers, My Ouster
Battling myself
Everyday war
Remember time
Passes us all up
Space is a place
For us all to fade
***
Frontal lobes
Tied up in knots
Excessive fatigue
Pain management
Legs adhered
Arms impaired
Floating Holiday
every day I am away
it's like I'm more awake
and alive high in the sky
Florida Ceiling
Unfortunately for me
and I suppose you too
my belly is bubbling.
The temperature has
risen and frogs are
piling up like a free
valley verse in the
good book of yore.
Unfortunately for us
the view is more askew
now than it ever was.
Stand up on a shoulder
and drive into a ditch
as this is the limit of all
things old new and in
between folksy folks.
Flyover Country
if you’re simply in the mood
for cops and corporations
you can drive to Burbank
or Bay Ridge you fools
For The Culture
That's the reason the suburban
white mother of three teenagers
said she volunteers for so many
different causes, and I asked her,
"How do you have the time, ma'am?"
Fucked (The) Format
We oscillate
With each day
That turns into
Weak months
What looks good
What feels good
One way is only
Temporary as it's
Never the same
Once twice again
We alienate
With how we
Refuse simple
Compromises
Game Show / Talk Show
It’s only after being
sucked into a cult
and being released
back into the world
can you reflect upon
the intricate ways
that they create each
maze or stage for
which to scramble
your eggs or rehearse
their Freudian play
and the clock strikes
an unlucky number.
Germ Bang Sperm Bank
If you live long enough
you’ll get some illness
serious enough to make
you worry about your
own self-created world.
If you love long enough
you’ll maybe meet some
type of person who’ll make
you worry about how you’ve
stayed with this little world.
Good Friday
Each one is pleasant
enough if you work
standard hours and
if you don't then you
can still get outside
of yourself somehow.
Good Head
“Oh, he’s got a good head
on him” is what people
in my past life might have
said about what I maybe
could have been if I’d only
been more willing and/or
able to be more willing
and/or able to be present,
or at least more so than
I’ve ever been prior to right
now…right, right? Now I am
just a brain floating in a fish
tank, surrounded by alcohol,
like an undergrad trying to
do nothing more than get
brain in a casket in the back
of a hearse; and when it’s time
to think about how bad it’s been
and how bad it’s going to get,
I have to ask if you think it’s
some sort of coincidence
that hearse sounds like horse?
Good-Time Girl
Her body was like a knife;
it cut more than two ways.
Her mind was the sharpest
image I've ever seen, and
I've been to at least three
dozen major museums and
seen at least 3,000 movies.
But her body sliced me open,
Ginsu-style; now I'm $38.99.
Guided Meditation
What is the most calming
place you can think to go?
What would you wear
if nobody would care?
What do you like to listen
to when you’re all alone?
The thing about taste
is that you’re allowed
to be bland or spicy.
According to Keith
there is no such thing
as a guilty pleasure.
Come into my bed
in whatever you prefer
and let’s lie in silence.
Hangover Time
He left his heart back in Boston
and drew up a brand-new past
3,000 miles away: manifest west!
It was also an outline of what
had been and what could be.
“Hey, yo,” I said, “Where you at,
where you been, where you goin’?”
Lost words for a lost love, but fuck,
sometimes it’s time for things to come
to a cleaner end (for one’s own sanity).
Hello, Habibi
My life was war
until you walked
through that door.
Peace in my mind
and ceasefire for
my body and soul.
Hit & Run
It took a stranger
sucking my face
and running away
to make me get
back to being
the person I was
before my divorce.
Hollywood
Filming
People
Filming
People
Watching
People
Watching
People
Doing
Things
Horse Drinks Beer; Is One of the Guys
“They don’t make mammals
like they used to,” said who?
I went back to the point of
the park where I once saw
kids eat cake to the tune of
goo, and I think good on them.
The rivers flow into each other
like the Flux Capacitor; if I can
rewind to the purity of a past life,
why can’t I try to reclaim that sort
of positivity in a future one, huh?
I look ahead to the horizon line
of the sun setting on the Pacific,
and I see curled blonde locks,
a bubbly blonde ale, and a hot
dog doused in red and yellow.
I have been absorbing comedy,
preparing for some ketamine;
a body is only a vessel, without
care for contents and contexts.
“A headline is a headline, and well,
a footnote is a footnote,” says me.
House Gary
You know it’s bad
when you funk up
the feelings of your
number-one besto’s
cat-and-mouse pad.
Housed
Moldy bricks
Cut out the roof
Floors bore heads
Basement shows what
How Precious
scan the scene
find something
that might work
pick it up
use it up
wave goodbye
Huh?
Twins get cancer
and bullshit rises,
as do the sun and
the moon, so I hear.
I Guess, I Guess, I Guess
No more caffeine
No more gasoline
Nowhere left to be
I Know
One day
I'll make it
Official &
One day
I'll make it
Officially
I Love Online
America is so online
And so am I you know
And so are so many
Of the women I know
There’s this widow I met
Who moves through life
With grace and generosity
She’s got wit and words
For days upon months
And a pure knack for fun
I met her while reading
And writing in a field
She says I feel healthy
Despite my poor health
And that makes me feel
Less shitty about myself
Because my body fucks
My mind and vice versa
America is so online
And so am I you know
And so are so many
Of the women I know
I Said Reflex
Everything goes down
so much harder now.
I'm tripping out now.
Everything comes up
so much easier now.
I'm tripping out again.
In Media Res
At every point
in life it feels
kinda like this
bridge to what
might be next
until you reach
the twilight of
your meh reality
and learn to love
in a more holistic
yet detached way
and then it’s eyes
closed for good.
Indent Block Space
How to write a prologue
to a eulogy with an epilogue
I don't know
I don't know you
I don't know any of you
I'm taking a sick day tomorrow
Intuitive Nail Clippings (and Other Sordid Details)
Ants saunter round hippies
While patchouli trees dangle
Gently from rear-view mirrors
And wealth comes crashing
Quickly down to the ground
Nostradamus pressed on vinyl
World tour surely soon to come
Pre-prepared vegan burger
On a still-fresh gluten-free bun
If the toilets are this plentiful
The game’s already been won
You can’t get a sax education
On public-school rebates man
So says the boarded-up brat
On the way back to Hollywood
Riding shotgun in a cop car
It looks like Mt. Everest but it’s just a cloud
You can stare into the distance and see nothing
Or you can clean toothpaste and hair out of sinks
Or you can smear jizz on sheets and smell life itself
Or you can paint monochromes and compel thought
Or you can faint at the cost of everything you bought
Or you can write down each idea opinion or musing
Some pictures appear to be melting ghosts on film
Others are merely surface-level readings of filth
Dragged onto clean surfaces by clumsy hands
Some pictures are portraits of people’s best selves
Others are still-lifes of people’s active lives paused
Others are landscapes of where we want to pause
When I sit on the toilet I see things on the floor
Or on the wall or in a shower curtain or whatever
Isn’t it odd how our minds can create clear images
Out of gradients and pixels blurred by our eyes
You might think something looks just like Mt. Everest
But it’s actually just an innocuous imagined cloud
You might think you actually know me and vice versa
But we’re only strangers until we experience the worst
It’s amazing
what happiness
(or the illusion of)
can do to a person.
Kinda Sorta (Kindly Sorting)
Lists are too long.
Songs are sung along
with friends; and family
doesn't choose you, but
sometimes family chews
you up and/or out, and
are you out of bounds to
say you'd like to call it
a day? But the thing is:
Days are too long.
Kintsugi
Won’t somebody
please put me
back together?
Ledger
I’m sorry if I said
too much or not
nearly enough
I’m sorry if I did
too much or just
barely enough
Left on Read
Is there anything more painful
or more isolating in this world
than to realize you’ve been
indefinitely left on read?
Light It Up, Baby
I don't have a tendency to burn bridges,
but if someone continues to show up
to sites with matches and kerosene,
I'll eventually let them set things ablaze.
Listen Sister
I still won’t wake up
on even numbers
but now I know how
to improvise recipes
like an aging Italian
listening to cool jazz.
Long Ovid
Lost my sense of self
in the time of isolation
but took a nice dose of
dissociation and wrote
at least a dozen poems
in my head only to come
to slightly confused but
ready to write at least
a dozen more for real.
Lord & Tailor
Dear God: Please make my life fit better.
Lost Book
Nothing bothers me more
than not being able to find
the words of someone else
that I’d love to share with
someone else I love (or like).
Lotsa Guts See
I braved through
the cold of old
only to wear down
while warming up
and that’s some
kind of spectrum
don’t you know?
Love Life
That’s what my family tells me
but they don’t know how it feels
to hate yourself and want to die.
Lust on the Spectrum
Monday is for masturbating
Tuesday is for trembling
Wednesday is for whispering
Thursday is for throating
Friday is for fucking
Saturday is for sucking
Sunday is for spooning
Mannequin Piss
People waffle more in this city
than a Belgian confessional poem.
I remember walking into a random
restaurant with the neon word chinois
above the front door the first time
I visited Brussels, witnessing a new
version of botched wok and roll.
People are becoming accustomed
to translating reality through hot mics.
The associates say I should eat more,
the doctors say I should sleep more,
the ministers say I should breathe more;
the media is mostly gossip and drama,
and I want none of that shit in my life.
People are so comme ci, comme çaa
nd I'm you know, like, "I came, I saw."
Manufactured Farmers Market
Can’t you hear the banjo
playing by the food court
where the mani-pedi mamas
talk shit on their children’s
friends behind their backs?
The sound of glitter Americana
makes me feel a sort of nausea.
I hate commercial nightmares
but at least we have fresh air.
Won’t you please tell all the old
rappers and rockers to leave
the future to those of us who
still have the slightest potential
of still maybe having a future?
Midnight Gibberish / Fever Dreaming
I have so many compounds
swirling about in my system.
I have so many regrets I see
reflected in empty glasses.
When I go to sleep I think
the end might be near.
When I awake in a sweat
it’s reality nobody is near.
mind rot
pounding that melon
with sugary songs
will ultimately lead
you to not be long
for keeping the rest
of your body strong
Mise-en-scène dream!
I came home
to the smell
of dead skunk
and I myself
wanted to die.
The next best
option seemed
to be to Xanax
myself to a new
type of hellscape.
(Miso) Hungry
so I made a pot
of mushroom &
tofu soup to eat
all week and that
felt like something
worth being content
with after seasons
of spiraling further
than the deepest
graves in Fukuoka
Monday Nature Walk
It’s the start of the week
so my knees are weak
but I’ll put my tiny white
earbuds into each drum
and bang on pavement
to the tune of Pavement
until I get to the nearest
green path and open up
myself to the ambiance.
my chart
sporadic migraines
confusional arousals
scars on forehead
tracing out to temple
bags under eyes
deviated septum
long hairs in ears
sinking cheeks
burning and tingling
on both arms alike
stiff skinny fingers
purplish skin spots
randomly spotted
discomfort in chest
as well as in ribcage
difficulty breathing
constant back pain
abdominal anguish
frequent trips to toilet
random rashes all over
creaky knees worsening
swollen ankles shin splints
toes with inflamed nodules
bone spurs in each heel
Neglected Nugget; or Temple: Regrettable, Not Forgettable
I knew I had forgotten something —
was it Denver or Salt Lake City?
I’ve been feeling cold vibes lately,
but I’m not going to sweat it.
I’ve been feeling like I’m at the foot
of a mountain staring at the summit
for at least a full presidential term.
I know I can remember how to get
back to getting onward and upward;
the secret to solace is letting go.
Nineveh
Hop in the DeLorean
and go back to when
water and wine flowed
freely and folks were
trying to figure out
whether God was one
of life or one of death.
Nothing more flattering
than when someone
tells you they have
a crush on you, right?
Oblast
Wrecked and wretched
I’ll come crawling back
To the border of where my
People rose up like bread
Leavened unleavened
It doesn’t matter to me
You can call me an Aries
I am what I am I am a man
Strong people have a fire
That burns and blows out
We can tell when to douse
Gasoline on ourselves too
Open & Shut
When you read me
I am so transparent
But when you see me
I am far more opaque
Palmate Plus
leaving you
with a pair of
open hands
my mind and
my heart are
open as well
Perfection
was once
something
that I thought
was possible;
now I know
better than
I knew then —
I know enough
to know I don’t
know nearly
what I thought
was possible.
Perfidy
I looked in the mirror;
then in my notebook.
I looked behind me;
then to the side of me
And the thing I feared
most of all was perfidy.
Pettifog vs. Anti-Cog
We litigate
what we
can bifurcate.
It’s so easy
to find hatred.
It’s so tough
to find love.
I walk in circles
just to return to
the same ideas.
I want to fight
for survival.
I want to embrace
a reciprocal group.
Phonk It Up
Ain't foolin' fools
Ain't stealin' stools
Paint the walls
Drop the calls
Bricked stories
Over saki & nori
Whip it get wit it
Hop in & pop out
Flip it fold it how
About I get gone
Sayonara sweetie
Wipe your mind
No need for tears
Almost out of years
You'll forget why
You & I didn't try
Piss The Day Away
Woke up to a hammer to the head,
concrete arms and legs, a belly
full of rocks, and didn’t want to
even attempt to get out of my
extra-wide dorm-sized bed.
Dogs were barking and birds
were chirping, trucks stopping
and starting for deliveries, and
all I could manage was to drink
watermelon juice until I fell asleep.
Poetry in the Grocery
This evening I heard
Bananarama playing
in the produce section,
and so I sifted through
each season like a chef
in a recession; how will
I make it until the next?
Polysyndeton
For if that is so
either/or when
and/or where
it could maybe
be a while until
we learn if that
or what came
before or after
and even then
we’ll always know
less unless there
is still some sort
of clues yet don’t
bet on that though.
Pressing Matters
Can’t
Make
You
Know
Red neon
Blue moons
Green dreams
Prolix
Oh, to be a more confident man
who could produce more direct haikus;
what a life, what a dream, what could be.
Published Poet
Once your words go to print, you must stop fucking around and hold yourself accountable for everything you ever said to your phone or computer. The real editors are in the real world, and they will tear you apart. Are you sure you want to submit to life?
Punim
Gold scratches
on dry skin burns
like sandpaper
samples on tables
turning at brunch
DJ style freaky leak
blood sweat tears
days months years
crumbling into bricks
on the Harvard quad
You can make enough
demands to fill a box
truck or you can just
lease your feelings out
to a Middle East banker
It all comes back to you
and your actions and
reactions in this world
we each create for our
individual selves don’t it?
Pusillanimity
Some people call it regression
while others might believe it’s
something closer to digression
but here’s my own confession:
I’d choose either over a move
towards unprovoked aggression.
Rational Dude
I’m not an idea
I’m a person
I’m not idealistic
I’m a reason
Regent Square
When I was in Bruges
about a decade ago
I watched old men eat
mussels and listened
to young women make
fun of British bands.
It reminded me of days
when I was younger and
I’d roll my eyes at Jarvis
Cocker and dream of
someday living in some
place like Regent Square.
Reprobate
Every single day,
there are moments
when I feel like another
version of myself, or
even like a different
person altogether.
Have you ever
drowned in your own
scoundrel dreams?
Those are called
nightmares, mostly,
typically, I do believe.
What do you know
about the true meaning
of life, or love? I suppose
you could ask anyone
questions such as these
and not offend them, but…
Rolling
I think maybe Fred Durst
was actually talking about
doing MDMA on his 2000
hit single or maybe it was
cocaine I can’t tell since
I was never into that shit.
I always despised being
at a party at an art gallery
or in some hotel room when
a rich attractive person
would handpick a dozen
people to crowd by a sink.
Upon further reflection
most fashionable people
are not much different
than limp biscuits since
it’s all about the he said
she said bullshit after all.
I don’t like feeling like
a wallflower nor would
I want to be on the cover
of a glossy magazine
I just want to be myself
upon further reflection.
Rotten Tumult
The ups and downs
and ins and outs of
the evened odds of
criticality being held
down and poked about
and swirled around is
maybe 100 to none but
you gotta think that we
are uh done when the
cult heroes have won.
Royal Collage
I cannot stand caste systems;
they are the downfall of society.
We’re only as strong as our supports;
I didn’t know how many I had until
I was at my lowest point and asked.
Have you ever wondered who would
miss you if you died tomorrow?
I think about this almost every day.
If I could cut and paste my greatest
lines together, not even a fraction
of the queen’s guards would be able
to set their eyes on this compendium.
Sans Sheriff
A life without police
is one full of peace.
screenplay
butts abut
about a but
free from fear
need you near
time is to buy
a good goodbye
he and me
me and she
what was with
a whiff to want
a need to be
a seed to see
Self (Don't Worry Yours)
If I were to stop writing
I would stop living
If I were to find love
I would find life worth it
The whole world's been
Properly cancelled
This soul is fasting
For a feeling beyond this
Serenity, Courage, Wisdom
There is no god; there is only grace.
The last time I got fucked up,
I watched a woman named Tina
pull apart opinions like they were
Bavarian pretzels; she looked
just like if Neil Hamburger had
announced he’d transitioned.
I was flanked on the other side
by a conservative pirate, who
raided his way to wealth, freely
boasting of his insensitivities;
just beyond him was a schmuck,
smiling like a familiar Yinzer.
Who am I? How did I get here?
The half-Japanese bartender
was fascinated by everything
I said until I blacked out; perhaps
she was still interested, even after
I had downed my last glass of
swamp water before stumbling.
I managed to drag my feet
along sidewalks until there
were no more; I barely recall
them reappearing, but I do
remember unlocking my front
door and puking out the back.
This is not the life I want to lead.
Side by Each
I watched a man
drag a metal pipe
down the jeweler’s lane
only to pick it up and rest
it upon both his shoulders
like a swole man pre-squat
his friend glanced over
with equal parts fear
and amusement but
you could tell he’s seen
this movie too many times
my friend and I were
not interested in even
seeing the film’s trailer
on our way to the bar
I hoped that man
dropped that pipe
Singapore to Jupiter
Would you be willing to try
to try to taste everything
with me, over time, of course?
Every man wants to be a genius,
but I'd like to prioritize the principles
of women; I no longer want to live
in such an imbalanced world.
There is a loss of gravity; there is
a constant state of inertia; I am
beginning to develop vertigo.
Time is slipping through hands,
space is a fantasy of humans,
science is becoming fiction
to so many (and I hate it all).
Singed Eyes
I pillowed
once more
sometimes
I consider
no pillow
no more
but then
I will pillow
once more
Slag Heap
When my bag of bones
is torched to look like
the dust of old stones
send it across the Atlantic
and toss it in with the rest
of my ancestors’ refuse.
Slippery Triggers
Some people are so quick to draw
blanks while others paint themselves
out of their own picture. All it takes
is a heads up to keep your chin from
dropping and your heart from stopping.
No need to sweat bullets or clam up
in the palms of your hands. We can be
as warm or as cold as you want to be,
but I'd prefer to stand in the sun rather
than shiver in the shade. You feel me?
Smeared Salutations
I paint images of the days
when I was young enough
to play; I would say, “I could
smell like the wind.” If you
were able to drive around
this town with me, as if we
were Gin Blossoms getting
sober, perhaps we could
forget about all sins (not
just forgive). And maybe
we both could even try to
heighten our senses and
learn to ignore what is
becoming more worthy of
recoiling than what came
before. What comes after
Gen Z? Will I be around by
then to see what’s become
of them? Thanks and best!
Sod Off
get out
my face
little man
children
beware
of elders
Soft Luck, Hard Times
every noon
you can spoon
your eyes out
and come plop
them both down
in lost and found
until the sun drops
way below the belt
where love throbs
and futures can stop
in the midnight hour
though new thoughts
come to our loins
and cling to our brains
So Few New Nuggets
When we finally meet,
I’m afraid I’ll already be
too deep in the loop, she
said, but I’d argue that
that is far better than
being caught in the eye
of a storm close to port.
Or perhaps it’s possible
that one’s ability to see
ahead is hindered by
what’s already been
sighted in a prior life.
And you can dig as
much as you’d like,
but gold is no longer
the standard today.
Special Guest / Guessed Sense
You can be the feature
if I can just be featured.
I’ve always wanted to be
special, I’ve always liked
being a guest — although,
I also love to host, as long
as I can keep others on
a toe or ten; I guess you
can say I like for folks
to guess, or to feel like
they can finally feel life’s
theater; does that make
sense? Does that make
you feel uncomfortable?
I’m sorry! Who’s who here?
Spider Mania
Brick by brick
Bric-a-brac
In my own words
We’re all fucked
Stop blasting us
With unimportant
E-mails old man
Smoke a cigar
In a cutty alley
And accept that
This shit bites
Spouting On, A Leaky Urinal
Before the movie began, I listened
to local lore about days old food
while standing in line for my fourth
coffee of the day; the cashier asked
me to give my thoughts on Roman
Polanski and I couldn’t help but
think about my son recently yelling,
“Bro, are you kidding me?” to nobody
in particular while laying in my bed.
After the movie ended, a woman
with Elvira hair told us all, “Like
I’ve always said, Romanians make the
best films,” and the old man in the
L.L. Bean half-zip fleece nodded
with nerdy flair and then went on
to describe Armageddon as a
romantic comedy, and I was like,
“Sorry, but I can’t deal with any
more of this bullshit; I have to piss.”
Standard Deviation
I can’t, I mean won’t
conform to the mean;
it’s nearly impossible
for me to be what you
want me to be; I am
who I am, you are who
you are — some of us
sway, some of us blow,
some us tell, some of
us show; but you’ll
never be what you’ll
never know, you know?
Stoned on Sycamore
Haha on high said
Moses and ain’t it
Hilarious how tall
Mr. Malone was
I look at all the funky
Candelabras adorning
Each of the brick walls
Surrounding Sasquatch
And I contemplate what
Brought me to this lovely
Zone filled with big hats
Robes and so-so sushi
It’s the quirky girl who
Is so anti-quirky and
Never needs a mic
Because she’s natural
She’s my funny girl
For real for real
Kinda like Babs but
Not full of herself
Sussed Up
Don’t tell me
what you think
about anything
until you’ve thought
things through to
the point of having
a defense without
being defensive okay?
Sweet Vessel for Sport
Sipping on bitters and soda at a bar
far too young for this arthritic ass
I joked with a group of comedians
et cetera that my whole life is just
a long series of wild improvisations
and as the night went on my words
became reality and I became words.
I met a group of guys who’d just left
the most leathered spot in the zone
and I was told the gayest of them all
was actually the only straight one
sure funny how that goes isn’t it and
I guess the actual top bottom was
kind of like Baby Driver in neutral.
The man out back flipping patio slabs
of beef was like some strange cross
between Billy Bob from Varsity Blues
and celebrity psychic Ron Bard but
with honeycomb tattoos circling his
gummy neck like a junior high choker
how goth of him and how gawky of me.
A very tall man next door with very
long hair like a gas station attendant
and a windbreaker that looked like
it could have been purchased with
cigarette coupons in the ‘90s told me
all about his escape room business
a fad I thought had surely passed.
But what I’ve learned after all these
years and all these encounters is
that nothing really dies it all just
comes back in fashion or as like
a grasshopper or something so if
you want to become a Buddhist or
wear an old Jeter jersey just do it.
Tea Time
When I search
for things past
I remember the
time I have lost.
The Body Trap
I only want to live in a time
when I can barely be here.
We can't escape the shells
that surround our entrails.
We can be so stuck suffering
that we don't stop to breathe.
I only want to live in a place
where I can clearly see stars.
The Day Before The Year Before
Copper stole my tongue
Circle took the square
Rings intertwined mean
Nothing in this existential
Artifice of theater to be
Produced for you and me
I suppose you know I could
Eat some popsicles until
The regrets of my past drip
Down to the base of my body
The taste of metal still soaks
The walls of my mouth cave
The Flux Capacity
No musty mugs
in this world of ours;
we wear cleanliness
on our sleeves.
The Golden Age of Golden Girls
My mother taught me how to be
a feminist when I was still a boy.
I never knew the actual ages of
Sophia, Rose, Dorothy, or Blanche.
I never know how old I am anymore,
and I'm not sure it even matters.
My arc is flexible, my joints are not;
my climax is strong, my heart is not.
The Truants of Dallas (Flipped Bitches and All)
Jammed into a loft space full of knobs and slobs, we tried to untangle iPhone chargers from HDMI cables on our way to wherever we had to be on that specific day of that generally terrific trip. Dust and drugs were abundant. The view of the skyline reflected back at me like a billion dollars worth of transparent and translucent film.
Day One: We drank diner coffee for hours while spreading colorful sheets of paper on filthy carpet and under polished Plexiglas. Then we bumped inside and out, above and below, sweating on each other, while getting chopped and screwed until our limbs were loose and our brains were goo.
Day Two: We wandered far and wide, peeping modern art and glancing at glorious houses of god, stopping here and there until we watched the sun set on the porch of a mild addict who looked like a thinned-out Jonathan Davis of Korn, who was wearing a Canadian tuxedo and Cuomo bifocals. Once it was dark out, we rode ships until we reached a group of elms that stood taller than Dirk Nowitski and drank hops in the heat of a humid August night; the scene was inappropriately set by a hybridized gay and Confederate flag that I had yet to see up to that point in my still-young life.
Day Three: We ate breakfast tacos in the morning, bean-and-cheese tacos in the afternoon, and nachos in the evening. I met the most delightfully charming socialite at the wackiest party held at an old butcher shop; she sang Dolly Parton songs for me and told me PG versions of dirty jokes, and I asked myself, "How is this woman not famous?" Post-party, I was shepherded to the greatest karaoke bar of all time, in which a jazz drummer and multi-instrumentalist played along to every song. I legit witnessed the one dude play the flute to "Hot in Herre" by Nelly.
Day Four: I smelled the faint scent of the National Beer of Texas everywhere I went. After walking around downtown, feeling like Cameron Howe on acid, I read poetry to a room full of strangers and got psychoanalyzed by a best friend via ink on my skin and had a brief emotional affair with a hyperintellectual woman at least two decades older than me.
Day Five: All I can remember is learning about Robin Williams' suicide and going to the biggest Korean spa imaginable.
On the plane ride back home, I couldn't wait to eat some vegetables, drink lots of water, and have sex with my fiancée. I thought we were going to live a normal life together, but she had other plans. A year and a few more solo trips later, I was surrounded by cardboard boxes and lonesome thoughts. A decade has passed; not much has changed. Ain't it funny how that goes?
Thespian
I like to act
like I'm okay;
I try, anyway.
This life is not about control
so let go of that impulse
and accept the good and
accept the bad and just
be okay with just being
the sun rises and the sun falls
the moon replaces it of course
but brightness always returns if
we want to wake up and brave
the waves of pain and suffering
that inevitably wash over us all
and disrupts our complex bodies
composed of countless circuits
it took me nearly four decades
to learn what to do with the next
four decades and there is nothing
I can do about lost time so I’ll find
new ways to give myself the space
to face my troubles and fears and
leave them behind or below what
I want within and beyond myself
if you want power to wield
you can probably get it but
if you want power to shield
you must embrace patience
Throng Song (Refrain)
Too many people
spend too much time
with their heads stuck
up other peoples’ asses.
Tip I'm On Now
The kids talk about rizz,
but all I know about is
the memories I miss.
Frogs might fall from the sky.
It's hard to hate someone
who helped you create
something so innate.
Grogs might fall from my mind.
To Wit, To Who:
I just sucked down salt and stress
like a sucker in a grocery store
for infantile rage disorders.
Tsetse Inside
everything sucks
but some things
suck more than
most and most
of the time I can
be okay with life
sometimes though
und der andere
sometimes even
the most anal of
peeps allow for
the most egregious
of errors to slip past
them and it's okay
whether you forget to
capitalize or italicize
a brain can blur eyes
don't let the uppity get
you so down and deep
inside your abdomen
you can feel the pain
languishing indefinitely
but you can survive this
Unless god wills otherwise
I will remain here near my grave.
Virtual Gift Card: A Push-Pull Thread
I lay my desperation bare
to anyone who will dare
read my words, but it's
challenging for me to
get off my own plot of
reservations; if you tug
enough, something will
come, but patience will
only be rewarded slowly,
in accumulated credit.
Working Up A Sweatshirt
The more I have cared about anything
the less it seems to care about me so
I suppose it's time I become carefree
but not careless and learn to develop
few expectations and be surprised by
small gestures that come my direction.
No need to be buttoned up no need
to be overtly polite small talk is mostly
as useful as a microwave and courtesies
are rarely extended so perhaps I'll hide
inside my hoodies and listen to old disco
songs produced in a sad world of echo.
Yale & College
When I parked my white whip to get some white rice and stir-fried vegetables to celebrate the birth of a froggy fellow I realized I was standing at what struck me as perhaps one of the worst-named intersections in maybe all of America.
Yo Quero
Elephants eat tacos too you know
Just ask any border patrol agent
They’ll tell you what they want
What they really really want
You Can Only
make so many jokes
about yourself before
you start to feel like
nothing will ever change
the thing about comedians
is none of us can be happy
at least not in the ways
that most people can be
and the sooner we accept that
we’re mostly alone with ourselves
the sooner we can start to enjoy
the people we love and love us
Zainichi Ish (Or What)
I often feel like a foreigner
in my own land, in my own home
with nowhere to be and nowhere to go.